Boyfriend Problems. Boyfriends Sex and Commitment problem
June 17, 2008
Boyfriend problems are on the minds of many women starting out in new relationships and one of the most important is sex.
Many women and especially young women that sleep with a man almost as soon as they have met him, notice they don’t feel good about themselves afterwards and then to make matters worse afterwards he does not call again. This paticular boyfriend problem is very common and knocks your confidence. Why has he not called? What’s wrong with me? Was the sex that bad? Maybe I was too thin or too fat? Now i just feel used. If you want to know why this happened read on….
Boyfriend problems and your instincts.
A man and a woman’s instincts and drivers are different in the context of sex, but why? What is sex really for? Nature is amazing, it has designed our bodies so that we get immense pleasure from an activity that will grow and sustain the survival of humankind. Think about it there would be far less people on this planet if sex were painful or not enjoyable.
Your boyfriend problems are driven by natures basic goal!
Nature has designed men to impregnate as many women as possible. Men can father children everyday, a woman can only get pregnant once every 9 months. Women are designed to choose their mates with caution. They are designed to make sure that this mate will have all the qualities that she wants, so those qualities will be reflected in her children. These drivers sit in our subconscious without us knowing.
These choices are present in our lives today even though we consciously know that we don’t want children right now, or maybe we don’t want children at all. These instincts still drive us.
When a woman sleeps with a man without really knowing him, 9 times out of 10 she has a gut feeling that something is wrong, that generates a bad feeling about herself. This is made worse by the fact that he does not call. So what is really happening!
Many women believe that if they sleep with a man quickly this will make him like her and will create a relationship, It’s this action that is driving the boyfriend problems. Men look at women in two ways; firstly without knowing their instinct is, would I sleep with her or not! Their next question; is this a one night stand or is she relationship potential. Of course they will not tell you either way what they are thinking. They may not even be consciously thinking these thoughts, but their subconscious is.
It is the way they are designed. What a woman needs to think is, what does she really want to happen. Some women are just happy to have sex with no ties. They are happy with their decision because it is a conscious thought. They can have sex and still feel OK. The women who want a relationship need to think differently and take constant action to respect what their goal is.
Respect Yourself
Respect is the key and you must be able to trust yourself to be able to act in a way that will fulfil your goal. Most men (even the nice ones) will sleep with you if the opportunity is there. The problem women face is if they do sleep with their new boyfriend so early on, it is likely that the man will secretly question how often you do this. This then becomes a threat for his future with other men. Even though he has got what he wants, it does not mean that it will generate respect for you for sleeping with him, so you will have create a problem for him. He knows you have not respected yourself to give yourself so easily. If you can’t look after you and respest you, what chance does he have.
Take control of what happens to you
You can respect yourself by being honest from the start to avoid problems. As soon as it looks like sex is a possibility, tell your partner that you are not prepared to sleep with him until you are convinced that he is serious about a relationship with you. Listen to your gut feeling’s, these feeling’s are usually right. Your gut feelings are your values screaming at you. Only when you are totally comfortable then decide if sex with this man is really what you want. What you are after is a man that will understand and put your needs first. You want a man that will respect your wishes and prove to you that he is prepared to put in the effort. Remember it’s easy to put in effort for a few weeks! A man that is there looking after you over time is going to be a man that is likely to stay. You will know when the time is right for you, you will feel it! If the so-called man of your dreams walks away because you don’t want sex then he was not the man of your dreams, he just wanted you for sex. Your escape was a lucky one!
If you show yourself little respect then expect boyfriend problems.
The goal of all this is to make sure you are looking after you.
Women become emotionally attached to men when they give their body to a man sexually. Men do not feel this straight away. So you are exposing yourself to pain if you are not ready!
Always practice safe sex, apart from the health issues who is left holding the baby? YOU!
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Studies have shown that most women find one night stands and first date sex degrading. My article on “When To Have Sex,” http://www.oceanofperspectives.com/2008/07/09/when-to-have-sex/ discusses the various aspects to be considered.